


You have no power here

by Smoochynose



Series: Asexual Awareness Week [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Awareness Week, Asexual Character, Gen, Humor, Kink Meme, Natasha is a badass, Sex Pollen, asexual!Natasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 06:18:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5037142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smoochynose/pseuds/Smoochynose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha vs. Sex Pollen. It's pretty obvious who is going to win here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You have no power here

**Author's Note:**

> Done for Asexual Awareness Week and for a prompt on Avengers Kink Meme.
> 
> Original prompt: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/20763.html?thread=51312155#t51312155

* * *

**You have no power here**

* * *

 

Sometimes Natasha thinks that sex is something that clearly causes other peoples’ rarely used brain matter to dribble out their ears. Other times she knows.

This is one of those times.

The sex pollen clause on the SHIELD waver form is something of a joke at headquarters. Natasha has been unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of it enough times that it is something SHIELD takes very seriously, what with the trauma, relationship breakdowns, and reduced teamwork it can cause.

The latest dose of sex pollen (this time in the form of an aerosol rather than actual pollen unlike that one invasive alien species), seems to particularly strong. This is partially judged by the uncomfortable need she feels “downstairs” that she pushes to the back of her mind like the way one would ignore a growling stomach when they are too busy to eat. The rest of it is judged by the fact her fellow Avengers immediately start stripping and attacking each other with hands and mouths and assorted body parts, completely ignoring the nuclear missile countdown.

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Really?” she asks out loud, walking over to the control panel five feet away.

The villain of the day, protected from whatever the hell he sprayed into the room by a gasmask, has about two seconds to gibber incomprehensibly at her ability to still function like she has half a brain before she knocks him out and disarms the missiles.

She calls Fury to brief him on the situation, vaguely hinting that she has her suspicions that he knew about the sex pollen in advance. He neither confirms or denies the veiled accusation, which can’t really say bothers her too much. What does bother her is the way Fury mentions the Avengers will be in isolation until the sex pollen is flushed from their systems the cuts the call before she can complain.

She looks at the writhing mass that is her teammates across the room and then at the villain of the day still out cold. Either way whoever came back to their senses first it was going to be a while before she had any intelligent conversation.

Time to start routing through desks for something interesting to read.


End file.
